Holiday Greetings from the Wardwells, 2018

President Trump SpeakingJoel and Ethan Coen Mohammad bin Salman






What an exciting start to the Holiday Season!!

We just returned from a truly inspiring and rejuvenating trip to Washington D.C.

It all started when our local Republican congressman Greg Walden received some complimentary tickets to a private White House showing of the new Coen brothers’ Netflix movie “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”. Apparently, the President was so excited about seeing a movie that truly represented the values that made America great, he sent out invitations to a select group of Western congressmen and their constituents.

Congressman Walden had ten tickets and offered them to the first ten people who showed up at his office. Most of his district is a vast uninhabited rangeland and apparently the few people who live there are not Coen brothers’ fans. Linnea and I jumped at the chance, picked up our tickets and were off to Washington the next day.

We have never seen the President so relaxed and ebullient. Seated at the head table with him was his dear friend, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammad bin Salman. The president introduced the three women sitting next to the prince, “Believe me, these are some of the most beautiful women on the planet—incredible—what a find! Mohammad sure knows how to pick ‘em! This guy is a great, amazing friend of America. Every time he comes to this country, he drops about 20 mil on hotels, dining and jewelry!”

He then went on to introduce the movie. “This is a fantastically outstanding film for the entire family—unbelievable! A true expression of the values, skills and entrepreneurial spirit that make America great! Also the great American soldiers, sailors and airmen who led our country to victory over the invading hordes of illegal Indians — especially heroes like John Wayne, Ronald Reagan and General Custer. In honor of those fantastic warriors, I will be declaring by tweet that the names of Yellowstone, Yosemite and Grand Canyon national parks will be changed to Wayne, Reagan and Custer.”

Then a wave of nostalgia seemed to overcome him and tears came to his eyes, “You know, those were the days of the greatest Republican entrepreneurial values: no unions, no government regulations, no health insurance and no minimum wage! My favorite scene in the movie was when the owner of the traveling minstrel show (by the way a terrific businessman) got rid of the singer whose arms and legs had been amputated. He just couldn’t compete with the counting chicken so he’s done–no negotiations with the actor’s union, no severance pay—end of story!”

Suddenly the crown prince jumped up, gave the president a bear hug and tried to kiss him on the cheek. Trump, definitely caught off guard, fended off the kiss and winked at the prince, declaring, “not so fast cowboy—I know what happens to gay guys in your country!”

Then the audience rose to its feet; many in the crowd had tears in their eyes and began hugging each other. Even stone-faced Mitch McConnell, sobbing uncontrollably, rushed over to the prince’s wives and embraced each one with a kiss, while Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders finally came out and gave each other a long, passionate kiss.

The president, overcome with emotion, stumbled up to the mic and blurted out, “This is the best Christmas of my life—what a terrific way to celebrate the crucifixion of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ!!!”

Happy Holidays,
The Wardwells